Recession, schmecession

Imagine you are sitting on a $100 million fortune. Think about your sweet Scrooge McDuck money pool and the tangy taste of gold on your tongue. You might spend your days wondering, “Should I just coat my body in platinum or have my teeth removed and put diamonds in their place?”

Well, friends, that is Britney Spears burden. But don’t worry, it sounds like she’s been busy burning through her sweet, sweet moolah.

Thanks to her conservatorship, all of Britney’s financial records are public, so all the world can know that she spends about $1.23 million a month.

My favorite article on the subject includes this quote

…but the majority of her money was used on staff, legal fees, her lavish lifestyle and caring for her two young sons.

What else do you spend money on? You included her entire “lavish lifestyle” in there.

For more of a breakdown of Britney’s expenses, I’ve scoured the web and discovered these alleged expenses:

Home repairs: $65,777
Mortgage on one LA home: $382,227.82
Rent on Malibu home: $140,527.89
Cable and satellite bills: $2423.75
Pet Care: $341.28
Security:$447,633
Credit card bills:$138,369
Ongoing legal fees associated with her custody battle:$625,000
“Staying in shape” (whatever that means):$10,000/month
Children:$240,000
Christmas decorations:$3,400
Having her holiday lights taken down:$5,840