Internet Roundup: Boy don’t try to front!

• Roadies! Two members of Britney’s crew got into a fight, then started to fight with the cops that came to breaks up the fight. Britney said this was bad. Also one of the dude’s is named Rockey Lee Dickey.
• Micheal Jackson! Rumor is Britney will join the King of Pop on stage in London.
• House Minority Whip, Eric Cantor! So he skipped Obama’s big speech, big deal! If I was him, my statement to the press would read: “F the haters–Brit for lyfe!”
  
• Tony Soprano-esque New Jersey types! This headline says that Britney unleashed her inner Jersey girl. Apparently that means she went shopping with her mom and ate at Johnny Rockets. I was hoping it would be a report about her teasing her hair and getting acrylic nails.
• Fred Durst! He just won’t shut up about her, will he?
• Adnan Ghalib! His sexy landing strip beckons! Is it true that Britney is still texting him to tell him that she feels like a prisoner? Because she kind of is a prisoner? Isn’t he going back to Afghanistan?