Spears Sextrology

We know what Laura Schlessinger, Dr. Drew, Perez Hilton, tabloids, E! news and the rest of world has to say about Britney Spears, but what do the cosmos have to say? I turned to my trusty source, Sextrology, the definitive source for dirty astrology. It’s about to get filthy here.
Spears is a Sagittarius, a fire sign, just like Judi Dench, Jane Fonda, Lucy Liu, Katie Holmes, Bette Midler, Edith Piaf, Tyra Banks and Emily Dickinson. Sag women are natural winners–the one who gets it all. They are the sort of person who explodes on the scene and always more-is-more. But “she tends to be skittish, often harboring emotional anxieties and low self-esteem.”

After the cut: what are her gay and straight turn-ons (these are not for the faint of heart!) and what the stars say about her and KFed’s coupling. Don’t worry mom, these are straight from the book and I have no idea what any of them are.

Filthy, filthy straight turn-ons (Courtesy Sextrology)

• Executives, athletes
• luxury gifts
• wining and dining
• spontaneity
• northerners, Nordic types
• flattery, fawning
• married men
• thick penises
• deep penetration
• tennis players
• rock hard thighs, asses
• exhibitionism
• girl on top from behind
• standing positions
• stockings, garter
• photos, videos, mirrors
• little-gril role-play
• father, boss fantasies
• (passive) analingus
• sixty-nine
• call-girl role play
• standing sex
• staying power

Gay Turn-ons

• Older females
• mentors, intellectuals
• atheletes, glamazons
• look-alikes
• money travel
• femme on femme
• vanilla
• outdoor sex
• erotic massage
• (mutual) worship
• deep-kissing
• cuddling, spooning
• exhibitionism
• stripping, erotic dancing
• baths, grooming
• vaginal orgasm, g-spot
• (passive) ass play
• rubbing, humping, tribadism
• vibrators, dildos
• (passive) lite b+d
• threesomes,couples
• bisexuality
• male voyeurs

Britney + KFed (Sagittarius and Aries)

She’s a clear conveyor of sexual messages; he readily acts upon them. Aries and Sag share a body consciousness–fitness is often a fetish. Sex is straightforward, spontaneous; no head trips, but never ho hum.