Internet Roundup: Who is Britney in love with today?

• Kevin Federline? Star reports that they’re falling in love again.
• Jason Trawick? They’ve been going on “secret dates” and he’s apparently Jamie Spears approved. Except those secret dates are probably business meetings.
• Adnan Ghalib? Sure there’s a restraining order keeping them apart, but I bet it tugs on the heart strings to find out her former paparazzo lover and his landing strip might be deported to Afghanistan. Shit is cold, especially since he’s been living in the US since age 5.
• The buzz surrounding her If You Seek Amy single/video? Those homophone skills paid off with this sucker, in apparently her best video ever.  I haven’t seen it yet, but I have no doubt it is a-m-a-z-i-n-g.
• A positive review of her NY show in the NY Times? There a lot to be in love with here.
• A3x5 watercolor piggie? Even if Britney’s not in love with this, I sure am!

Internet Roundup: OMGZ!

• OMG: Is Britney dating her longtime talent agent, Jason Trawick? He’s been following her on tour. Who knows what tomfoolery is going on!
• OMG: K-Fed spotted leaving Britney Spears hotel! That could only mean two things. 1) S-E-X 2) Checking in on those kids that he has full-custody. But number 1 is racy!
• OMG: Madonna was at Britney’s Long Island performance last night. But last week hearing  Britney in the club made Madonna angry… and you don’t like Madonna when she’s angry.
• OMG: The If You Seek Amy video comes out today.

Internet Round Up: Recession Edition

• Retail therapy or stimulating the economy? Britney has been doing her part by shopping during her stay in Miami.
• She also has been hanging out by the pool, just like a real person who visits Miami!
• Jamie Lynn Spears is taking the economy head-on: she’s recording a country album. Diversifying interest, investing in a musical genre that’s all about being poor and heartbroken–it looks like the Spears might be the most business savvy family in the entertainment industry.
• Adding to the growing unemployment rate, three of Britney’s back up dancers have been fired for suspected drug use.
• Pussygate continues: here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. Let me save you the trouble of clicking any of those links: at her Tampa Show, Britney’s corset was riding high, she didn’t know her mic was on, she said my pussy is hanging out. Moving on.
• Another noted recessionista, Jennifer Lopez says that she understands Britney’s woes. I will not begin.

The Singles: … Baby One More Time

…Baby One More Time

When …Baby One More Time came bounding into homes across America in 1998, one thing was clear: grunge was over. The late 90s had gone through great lengths to cover up the flannel-crusted music of the early part of the decade, replacing it with sanitized pop music presented by singers who espoused conservative moral values while gyrating their bare midriffs on MTV.

…Baby One More Time is the epitome of this pop music and not only made Spears a household name, but created the image that she has tried to escape, alter, and adjust in the decade since the song’s release.

P-Gate 2009

Here is an image to describe the Circus tour: Imagine a tractor trailor, sitting on top of a steep precipice. One end of the truck is on a safe road (here I’d imagine bunnies, kittens, and singing flowers), the other is dangling over the edge (here I’d imagine the opening scene to that movie Cliffhanger).  Down on solid ground, everyone is watching.

The initial tour reviews emphasized the fact that Britney is looking fine and that she doesn’t seem to be totally bananas.  These facts seem to astound reviewers, who, for some reason, seemed to expect that Spears tour would be falling off the cliff from the start.

So it should be no wonder that Pussygate 2009 exploded the way that it did–we’re waiting for her to mess up, even if that slip up is as simple as a little camel toe and a live mic.

Internet Roundup: Sick Kids

• Britney took time out of her touring schedule to visit sick kids at at Miami hospital. She also donated $100,000 to the hospital, proving Britney Spears is more philanthropic than Amazon.com.
• Speaking of sick kids, Lindsey Lohan wants to cover either Womanizer or Oops! I did it again. Lohan and Spears struck up a friendship shortly after Spears’ divorce from Kevin Federline. Pop quiz– how many times have Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears been admitted into a rehab facility?
• How close was the world to seeing Britney Spears naked? Apparently at her Atlanta show, Spears breasts almost escaped her corset.
• This is old news, but Britney Spears has been appraoched to endorse a New Zealand cocktail brand. This article says that the company also considered Kim Kardashian, but deemed her too trashy and weren’t sure if she even drinks. So no matter what happens, Britney, remember you are classier than Kim Kardashian.
• What’s with this, Internet? There are more google searches for Bernie Madoff than Britney Spears? Sounds like I should launch a Britney Spears/Bernie Madoff research center blog.

Off for the weekend

Thanks guys for making Britney Spears Studies a runaway hit in its first two days of blog-istence.  No posts over the weekend, but there are plenty of posts coming next week including

1. The first installment of THE SINGLES, a weekly review of all of Britney’s singles
2. Jamie Spears — father doing his best or evil villain?
3. Is Britney family friendly– the skivvy on Sean Pres and JJ kindof, not really being banned from the Circus tour.

What else do you guys want to see here? Topics, features, snark? Leave it in the comments.

Internet Roundup: Fake tattoos, duffy, Dr. Laura

• This Britney Spears womanizer t-shirt is only available for sale at the Circus tour. The Chicago Tribune lists 10 reasons why you want it. In a related story, if someone gets me this shirt I will love you forever.
• In a story as surprising as water being wet, Dr. Laura Schlessinger has a problem with Britney being the new face of Candies. Among other things, Dr. Laura says Spears is piggish, out of control, an irresponsible parent, and that she has been busted for drug use. FALSE. To quote 30 Rock: Kenneth: It’s like Dr. Laura Schlessinger says. Women should be more accommodating to their men, for the health of the marriage. Cerie: She sounds smart. Is she really a doctor? Kenneth: No, I think she’s kinda like Dr Pepper
• Are you a fan of Britney on Facebook? Yesterday, her people updated her page to better accomodate Facebook’s new format for fan pages. Says Britney “I love that I can update my status, blog and post videos and photos all in one place.” Yes, Britney, facebook is awesome.
• Does Britney Spears’ cover of Duffy’s I’m Scared have a special meaning? Sounds like a feature article to me.
• The Circus show at the Verizon Center in DC (i.e. the concert closest to me)  is sold out.  If someone can get me tickets, or put me in touch with someone selling tickets for a reasonable sum of money, I will weep openly at your feet in gratitude.

The Magical Abs of Britney Spears

One of the most prevalent comments in the early Circus reviews is that Britney looks hot and that her abs are back. Britney Spears’ abdominal muscles act as a barometer for her well-being. When her abs are taut, all is well with the world. When her abs are soft, something must be horribly wrong.

It’s no secret that Britney was not at her most svelte at her 2007 VMA performance, in the midst of a highly publicized manic year. It’s also no secret that she had two children in three (?) years. But hey, Heidi Klum could shed that baby weight in no time, what’s the deal with Britney?

All Eyes On Me, In the Center of the Ring

The concept of the circus traces back to  Ancient Rome. While the circus might have originated in Greece, the Romans took it to a whole other level–including staged battles, chariot races, jugglers, acrobats, and wild animals. Over the years the circus has evolved into the  flea-infested, animal-abusing, exploitative, family-friendly entertainment it is today.

And what better way for Britney Spears to return to live performance than that? After  suspending her Onyx tour in 2004 due to a knee injury, Britney all but disappeared from public performances (well, of the singing and dancing variety). But now, 2009: Britney is back in a leather-strapped, S&M-inspired,  wildly choreographed circus of her own.

This is Britney doing what she does best: presenting sheer spectacle. Does Britney Spears sing a single note live? No. That’s not the point. If you want to hear her, buy the album, it’s at the concession stand. If you want to see Britney in an elaborate stage performance including contortionists, acrobats, dazzling visual effects, and a dozen costume changes, then this is it.

Reviewers have noted that the lack of “choreographic feats” from Ms. Spears, that she hardly interacted with the New Orleans audience, and occasionally stumbled. Well boo hoo hoo, you’re missing the point. Who cares about Britney Spears, singer and dancer? What we care about is Britney Spears the spectacle, and that’s exactly what the Circus tour delivers.